Just over a year ago, I wrote a blog post about the simple reason why you never get what you want. It was based on the premise that the Universe loves us. Every one of us. It wants us to be happy and yearns to provide all that we need to live an abundant and fulfilling life.

This is something I deeply and truly believe in.

But yesterday, I received this message about my article:


"What a load of crap! The universe doesn’t give you what you want, since what you want usually involves other people or something else, and that is what we don’t have control of. Not everybody gets what they want no matter what they do. In my opinion, the Universe is cruel and evil."


It broke my heart to read this message. Not for my sake (I’ve been immune to criticism for quite a while now). But for hers!

I can empathise with all the anger and frustration that result from a life that feels unfair. From having your dreams and hopes crushed every time you try. From having to resign yourself to the suffering and misery of a life you didn’t want. Where everything seems to go wrong all the time.

But the Universe doesn’t hate you! It didn’t deal you a bad hand out of spite. And it certainly doesn’t trip you up through sheer vindictiveness.

Your negative experiences and unhappy circumstances are not the Universe’s fault. They all just boil down to one word:

Self-sabotage.

The 5 main reasons why you never get what you want

Whether we are aware of it or not, we all tend to sabotage our own efforts to live a happy life. At least to some degree.

You see, the Universe always strives to provide what we need and want. But it is awfully literal. It has no sense of sarcasm, irony, cynicism. It doesn’t recognise the difference between negativity and positivity. It doesn’t interpret your thoughts and words to uncover your true desires.

It simply always gives you what you communicate that you want. And that’s a massive problem.

Because, for 5 disastrous reasons, what we communicate to the Universe and what we truly long for don’t match up.


Today, we will look at the first three of these reasons. And next week we will discover self-sabotage reasons 4 and 5 and explore some powerful strategies to counteract them and eliminate self-sabotage from your life.



So, let's start with the first 3 areas of self-sabotage that stop the Universe from giving us what we desire:


1.       Negativity and the belief that the world is a scary, evil, dog-eat-dog place

The Universe aims to provide. Whatever we want, it will give to us. And it listens to our every thought. It follows every word we speak. So it will never miss an opportunity to please.

The problem is that many of us are stuck in a toxic cycle of fear, anxiety and negative thinking. We focus on everything that goes wrong, consumed by dreadful visions of a terrifying, uncertain future. And we fixate on contaminated thoughts of self-condemnation, self-criticism and often even self-loathing.

Shocked by the unspeakable brutality and doomsday prophecies we witness every day on the news, we distrust the world and everybody in it. Horrified of the harm that could befall us without warning.

So all the Universe hears is negativity. Despondent, angry, fearful thoughts and worries.

In its innocent naivety, it believes that the negative experiences we obsess about are what we yearn for. It mistakes our worries for desires, our toxic thoughts for wants, needs and wishes.

And it will grant them. Because that’s what it does.


2.       Lack of trust and the overwhelming urge to control everything

The Universe isn’t a fairy Godmother. Even though sometimes we can get what we wished for so quickly that it seems magical, what we desire won’t just materialise out of thin air as soon as we utter the words.

Rather, the Universe will guide us. Lead us to the outcome that ultimately is best for us and will make us happiest. It will show us signs, gently direct us through hints and synchronicities. So we can follow the bread crumbs to fulfil our desires, wants and needs.

That is, if we let it.

Unfortunately, most of us lack trust in the Universe. We were disappointed too many times, feel disheartened and abandoned. We believe that the Universe doesn’t care for us, that we can only survive if we control every aspect of our life.

All the time.

We made plans, hold certain expectations of how our life should be and which paths we ought to take.

And we become blind to all other options and possibilities. Blocking out the Universe’s attempts to guide us to our happily ever after. Because the Universe’s plans for us and our own conflict too much.

And we trust our own judgement, anticipations and trepidations more than the Universe. Even if it knows the bigger picture and wants to show us our true way to happiness.


3.       Powerlessness, not taking responsibility and blaming others

Sure, the Universe might aspire to provide us with what we need and guide us to our ultimate happiness. But, even if we were to see the signs, many of us feel too powerless to follow them.

We seem stuck, like prisoners in an unwanted life. Our circumstances dictated by a myriad of uncontrollable outside factors and an army of (often even well-meaning) other people.

Our lives too busy and overwhelming to even consider the Universe’s hints.

And so we shift the responsibility for our misfortune to the others. Accusing the stresses caused by our financial situation, health, family, friends, employers for our stagnation and inability to follow our dreams.

Because we don’t want to displease, disappoint or cause conflict. We trust other people’s judgement more than our own. Desperate to avoid rejection, ridicule and failure.

And we feel too small and weak to step out of line, do our own thing, follow our happiness. Regardless of our current circumstances and what other people might think.

So, the Universe’s guidance remains untouched, ignored. Neglected in the midst of the deafening noise of the endless demands in our life.

Leaving nothing but the stale taste of regret.


But it doesn't need to be this way. Even in a busy life, with all the demands, duties and fears imposed on us, we can follow the Universe's lead. We can find happiness, abundance and fulfilment.

So, next week we will talk about the final 2 reasons for self-sabotage, resistance and lack of self-worth, and discover some useful strategies to eradicate self-sabotage from your life.

So you are free to allow the Universe to provide for you.


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Chat soon,
Berni

PS: If you want to discover what made this one reader so angry, you can check out the "offensive" article here: "The simple reason why you never get what you want."

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